Friday, September 01, 2006

365 x 2 plus time

Each year, I (literally) take thousands of photos.

I took the attached photo two years ago tomorrow. The quality stinks, the cropping is poor, the reason I took it is not quite known (even to me), but its importance is paramount.

8 seconds before this photo was taken, my wife had walked from the garage down to near where I was and advised me that my Dad had died.

She bore the news and before she got to me, our then-four-year-old son got it and got to her. He went to her with all available hugs and comprehension.

I still don't know exactly why I took this picture - my camera was close and something told me that I would want this years later -- and painfully sweet, I know that I was right. Picturing (literally, again) the hurt on my wife's face, the comfort to her from my son, and knowing the situation reminds me again and again what a phase life is.

I don't like interrupting a story-line, but two years ago as I was driving back to Indianapolis, I was listening to a CD that I had compiled just a few days before. Being in the state that I was, I was imagining that each song really meant something that my Dad wanted to say to either me or to someone else. In each song, I was able to apply meaning -- except one.

The one song that I could not give any justification was a Jimmy Buffett song -- "Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling". The whole drive up, I could not figure out any of the lyrics that made sense. Each and every other song had a least one line that I was able to fit into something that he would want to say to either me or to Mom -- but not this one. Nothing would fit.

Years ago, knowing my affection and admiration for my Dad, I asked that should he die before me, would he mind giving me his wedding ring. I admired his love and givingness to my Mom and thought that I'd like a little of that passed on to me.

Driving back to Cincinnati the next day while wearing my now-given-to-me-from-my-Mom Dad's wedding band, I was again listening to the same CD in the truck when Track 6 came on. I got it when I heard Mr. Buffett sing, "What's this ring on my finger, what is its meaning?"

Contact from my dear old Dad. Dad 1, Dave 0.

Tomorrow, it will be two years later, time will have moved on. My mom still aches, I still miss my biggest fan, and this picture reminds it all to me.

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